Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

What are the easiest stores for shoplifting?

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I can count

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

Is it common for Americans to feel "trapped" due to the size and distance of their country from other countries/continents? Is this feeling an exaggeration or a reality?

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

Is it possible to revive a dead person in real life with black magic?

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

Do you have any fantasies you are ashamed of?

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

Why do wokes use words like "homophobes" when they don't know what that means? Do they realize that no one is afraid of them?

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

Do Republicans realize that the power of the people is invested in 'representative government'? If so, why did they elect a pathological liar?

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I have complete contempt for fakery

What are you struggling with in your life? What would you like to have instead?

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I know who the president of Turkey really is

How can the democrats say Mr. Trump is bad when he is already fixing this country again and he's not even president yet?

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

Why is my ex still keeping in touch with me even though she dumped me?

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I have a reading level above third grade

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

How can I get my ex-husband to love me again?

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

Can people who have never met you tell if you are a covert narcissist?

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I actually pay taxes

How conservative the Japanese people really is? And the government?

I don’t cotton to rapists

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

Why do programmers choose to write their own code instead of using code that is already available online?

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I understand how hurricane paths work

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I don’t buy bullshit

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I see through liars

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I can read

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t